yang terpantang, dan yang terlarang

Recently at Elvy's wedding, some of my girlfriends and I had a brief discussion about kepercayaan orang orang tua time dulu dulu when it comes to kahwing kahwing and one of my bride-to-be girlfriends Ellia (her wedding will be three weeks from mine!) suggested a blog entry about pantang larang for bakal pengantin Melayu.

I thought it was an interesting topic and how apt is it that Sham (who got married last weekend) recently tweeted about the 44 pantang larang Melayu for bakal pengantin via this blog?

(List is available on Wiki as well.)

Our dear Chinese friends who subscribe strongly to Chinese culture might get shivers down their spines though, because there's 44 pantang larang, haha! (For those who didn't get it, 4 is considered an unlucky number in Chinese culture because it is nearly homophonous to the word "death". I would like to point out that the person who did the blog entry numbered his/her list incorrectly though, and the total number of so-called pantang larang should be 43, and not 44.)

I reproduce some of the listed pantang larang here for sharing purposes!

Jangan keluar dengan pasangan selama 40 hari sebelum diijabkabul untuk mengelakkan tohmahan masyarakat. Selain itu ia bertujuan untuk mengawal nafsu. Ia juga untuk menimbulkan perasaan rindu dendam. Perasaan yang timbul akan membuatkan wajah pengantin lebih berseri.

Some of my friends practise this! (although their agreed period is usually lesser than 40 hari). I kind of like the idea of not seeing my mat days before our akad nikah but don't think we'll do it for 40 days before... I'm not that kuat semangat to not see my mat for more than a month haha FREAK. 

Will most probably decide on period of two or three weeks before the wedding?

(Ok this is very salah bawak ok guys, mak tak ajar eh pandai pandai sendiri tweaking pantang larang!)

Jangan tidur di rumah orang takut terkena ilmu. Ia juga untuk menjaga nama baik keluarga. Jangan bebas keluar kemana-mana kerana takut disantau oleh mereka yang mempunyai niat tidak baik.

(Well, actually, if memang ada orang dengki and memang dah nak terjadi, it can happen even if you tidur at your own place or selubung diri with selimut and duduk terperap kat rumah. I had a relative who "terkena ilmu" few months before her wedding and never recovered even after her wedding day. I know some people don't believe in such supernatural things or black magic but in order to explain it, I'll have to elaborate more on this - which I do not want to do - so let's just keep it at that.

The whole extended family tried everything - hospitals, specialists, medical experts, ustazs and ustazahs, religious people, spiritual healers, shamans, western medical treatments, laboratory tests, prayers, traditional malay therapy, you name it, we did it, we tried it, but we never found any cure or solution in time for her wedding.

Bless her (then) fiance, who refused to cancel the wedding and went ahead to nikah her (although they scrapped the sanding at pelamin part because of her condition) even though she looked like a living skeleton because she lost a lot of weight, developed dark circles around her protruding eyes, lost most of her hair, and was unable to speak or react and had to be held and moved slowly and painfully with the help and support of our family members.

She eventually passed away one week after her wedding.)

Jangan makan nasi dengan gulai berkuah beberapa bulan sebelum naik pelamin bagi mengelakkan perut buncit.

(Mamat aku kalau tak makan nasi and gulai berkuah pun memang tetap boncit seh hahahaha)

Elakkan makan ulam yang berbau busuk seperti petaidan jering.

(Especially bakal pengantin lelaki. Kalau tak, bila nak lafaz akad nikah, pengsan tok kadi nanti)

Kawal makan iaitu sekali makan setiap hari (mengikut sesetengah adat)

(In other words................................... diet lah tu.)

Elakkan terkena cahaya matahari kerana dikhuatiri hitam dan tidak berseri pada hari perkahwinan.

(Matahari no matahari both our skin memang hitam seh hahahahaha)

Jangann bercelak atau berlangir serta memotong rambut seminggu sebelum ijabkabul.

(Nooooooooooooooooo my celaaaaakkk)

Jangan buat kerja yang berat. Bila pengantin membuat kerja berat, dia akan berasa penat dan mudah terjadi nya gangguan emosi.

(Nak apply for 1 month pre-wedding leave ah gini.)

Jaga pertuturan agar tidak menimbulkan rasa sakit hati.

(Yang ni memang proven so I believe in this! So must ingat to seal my mulut dengan stapler gun once I hit the 1-year-before-wedding mark.

As it is, sepatutnya you must jaga pertuturan whether or not you're a bakal pengantin lah, because memang tak bagus to have mulut jahat or mulut takde insurance. Cuma, yelah, apakan daya... kita kan manusia, mesti ada cacat cela nya......................... HAHA alasan.)

Jangan cukur kening ditakuti akan menghilangkan seri muka.

(Planning to stop my threading sessions (and full face make-up) six months before wedding. Habis lah, next year Hari Raya must go jalan raya with my original kening all grown back... kalau aku punya original kening memang arched and cantik takpe, my original kening kalau grow back dah macam misai Anil Kapoor, tak kelakar lah sak.)

Lempar baju di atas bumbung rumah tanpa diketahui oleh orang lain bagi mengelakkan hujan turun ketika majlis berlangsung.

(Doa and sembahyang hajat je lah, nak lempar baju atas bumbung ni semua ape ke jadah, cik kak.)

Dilarang memandang cermin ketika disolek oleh juruandam kerana dikhuatiri hilang seri.

(That's it, kalau mak andam make-upkan macam The Joker pun kau won't know until it's too late.)

Kedua pengantin dilarang bercakap ketika bersanding kerana kurang manis dipandang tetamu.

(Bedek seh. Kalau pengantin tak talk to each other nanti tetamu ingatkan gaduh seh.)

Jangan makan kepala ayam nanti mengantuk masa bersanding.

(Who the hell eats kepala ayam ni?! *judgy eyes*

(And what has kepala ayam got to do with ngantukness??? Is there something inside a kepala ayam that will make you ngantok??? Is this proven by science??? Omg if this is proven by science, does this mean there is a possibility that one of the ingredients inside sleeping pills is kepala ayam?! HORROR.))

Elakkan keluar rumah tanpa tujuan kerana angan-angan yang tinggi menjelang perkahwinan dikhuatiri bakal pengantin mengalami kemalangan jika berada diluar.

(Ok this one cannot make fun eh, because this one pernah happen many times before. I think this is also considered a part of what people call "darah manis"?)

Ok I'm not a particularly superstitious person but I do try to follow or adhere to those that I personally think has its benefits, its valid reasons or those proven to be right because I think it's better to be safe than sorry when it comes to some of the pantang larang. After all, this is one of your most special days of your life we're talking about seh.

Of course the pantang larang yang obviously datang from zaman kuno and tak masuk akal or tak bawak afdhal you can, I don't know, campak je atas bumbung or something.