Monday, May 13, 2013

kahwin khronicles goes on a kursus

The night before our marriage course didn't start off on a good note.

Something happened on the night itself that made my mat and I argue sampai dua pagi and I knew that we were going to really exhausted and sleepy and cranky during our marriage preparation course which was going to happen the next two days.

It didn't help the fact that just TWO days before our marriage preparation course, my mat's platoon commander and platoon sergeant told him that there was going to be a mobilization exercise for his battalion and he was to report in full battle order on 11 May 2013!!!!! My mat emailed them a copy of the course payment receipt and applied to be excused from the exercise but it was rejected. REJECTED OK. Tak kelakar ok. 

He then told them that he was willing to skip the course and reschedule to another date if SAF can reimburse our $300 course fees but it was a no go as well. So bloody unfair lor. (1) We booked the course in January 2013, waaaaayyyyy before you guys planned the goddamn exercise (2) $300 is not a small sum of money that we can suka suka throw (3) This marriage course is not a suka suka thing either - it's mandatory and a bloody requirement before we can get married ok?!

It definitely added to my frustration (and it contributed to our argument, which was about something else but somehow termasuk campur sekali) because I already told him we should not book 11 and 12 May 2013 for our marriage preparation course. It just didn't feel right + it was my birthday weekend so I specifically told him I didn't think we should book those dates. But he insisted that I should celebrate my birthday and start my 26th year of living with a marriage preparation course that will benefit me and our future - I wanted to learn to let him have his way so fine, I gave in to his request.

Tup tup tup betul betul his bloody mobilization exercise fall on the date he championed.

Ah kan, AMBIK KAU. A freaking mobilization exercise, something that happens once in every few years, just haaaddddddddd to happen on the exact date that you championed, right??? Everytime aku cakap, nak rebel without a cause kan??? Everytime aku cakap, tak nak dengar kan??? Can learn to trust my instinct more can or not, budak?! >:(

Woke up the next day feeling really creaky and sleepy but didn't want us to start on a bad note for our course so we kissed and made up after some kuih and teh (not literally, of course, because if we did that in front of all the makcik pakcik alim ulamak near Sultan Mosque, I think we will terkena spontaneous human combustion hahahahaha) and went in for the course armed with open hearts and open minds. (Oh, he skipped his mobilization exercise altogether, by the way. Tawakkal. Ape nak jadi, jadi lah.)



I previously wrote on why we chose to attend the Kasih Sejati course under Suchi Success at Masjid Sultan here - it was mainly because (1) almost all of our friends raved about it, (2) we didn't want to have a one-on-one session with an ustadz (intimidating much!), (3) our friends who went for their courses held at libraries advised against attending those in libraries (4) Suchi Success had a lot of good available dates and mosques to choose from and (5) Suchi Success' programme overview looked really promising.

And the verdict?????

 I am so so sooooo glad we decided to take the reviews seriously and chose the course organized by Suchi Success!!!!! I don't think I can rave enough about it:

  • the content was relevant and comprehensive;
  • the atmosphere was friendly and everyone was "supporting" and participative; 
  • the cara penyampaian (delivery) was smooth and easy on the eyes and ears; 
  • the facilitators knew what they were saying, there were loads of anecdotes, cracked very funny jokes at the appropriate timings, gave clear instructions and all of them had good voice projection;
  • the breaks were adequate and pace of the course was just nice, I thought.

Kalau nak enjoy the course actually senang je - just go with an open mind and open heart, leave your prejudices locked up somewhere at home and God be willing, you will find the course educational and entertaining instead of stifling or boring or condescending, even. Positive vibes, positive results, babe.

(If I really must say what was lacking from the two-day course experience, it would be the fact that the chairs were rigid as hell and I had to tampal koyok at the end of both sessions because my back was hurting like a mother bitch. Some of the meals served for lunch and tea breaks were okay okay in terms of taste and serving size but my primary school friends and I chose to have our lunch at Zam Zam on the second day ah haha.

Administrative-wise, no issues on the customer service but we would've preferred if they improved their system - if you're booking to attend the course at a mosque, you have to fill up the online registration form on Kasih Sejati's website and then call the mosque directly. The mosque representative will tell you to come down to their office to make payment. When you arrive at their office, you'll be asked to fill up a physical hard copy of a registration form - information that you've already filled up in the online registration form - before making payment. Very silly to fill up the online registration form and then have to complete a registration form with the exact same information, if you ask me.)

Actually kan I think the fact that I knew 4 out of the 7 other girls at my table (excluding myself) from previous occasions helped with my comfort level as well:

  • one was Diyanah of A White Wedding who I briefly knew from Temasek Poly and our involvement in our respective Malay arts groups (member jalan menonong and didn't even realize she was sitting at the same table as me at first LOL) 
  • one was a Zumba instructor whose awesome classes I've been to a few times (Hi Tini!!! Nice surprise to see you and your Abang Fit - as how my mat calls him hahaha - at the course!)
  • one was my primary school friend (from a different clique); and 
  • one was my primary school friend Mamat's fiance (Kita tak janji but out of all dates and all masjids, Mamat, Ellia, another one of our close primary school friends, and I chose the same date at the same mosque lah sak hahaha abeh nampak each other dah start kecoh macam perjumpaan Hari Raya y'all).

I guess being familiar with half of the participants at my table made it easier for me somehow? Heh. Plus my mat was at the guys' table beside ours so it made curi curi jelingan manja sessions very easy hahahahaha (Guys and girls were separated into two sides of the room.) There were a few exercises (bukan yang kena lari atas threadmill eh, itu dah buang bin tebiat cucu kepada biadap namanye) which we had to do but my favourite has to be the very first module where we had to know our own personality and our partner's personality and how our personalities worked for our relationship.

All of us had to do a series of questions and map out a graph and then whichever fruit category in which we scored the highest described our personality - there's Anggur (Grape), Pisang (Banana), Limau (Orange) and Tembikai (Watermelon). We only knew which fruit represent what type of personality after the facilitator explained it to us - which I thought was good because there was no chance for anyone to be biased and "cheat" and we'd answer the questions truthfully instead of trying to answer them such that we will get a certain personality that we think we possess.

I still remember the part when the facilitator asked the girls whose fruit personality is Limau (Orange) to raise their hands (only two other girls and I raised their hands) and he immediately turned towards the direction of the guys and said "Ah, habislah korang" in reference to the guys whose partners were of Limau (Orange) personality HAHAHAHAHAHA aku macam nak flip table and cakap EH BIADAP PE KAU!

Of course if I had done that, he would have proven his point about people with Limau (Orange) personality ah hahaha :P

When the facilitator flashed the presentation slide listing the traits of a Limau (Orange) personality, I instinctively turned to my mat who was already half grinning in amusement and half shooting me with "EH INI ENGKAU SIAL" eye darts hahahahahahaha:

  • Pemimpin semulajadi
  • Active and dynamic
  • Compulsive need for change
  • "Must correct wrongs"
  • Berpendirian tegah
  • Decisive and unemotional
  • Penuh keyakinan
  • Tidak mudah patah semangat
  • Berdikari
  • Self-sufficient
  • Can run anything

I think I grinned just as hard when the facilitator flashed the presentation slide listing the traits of an Anggur (Grape) personality, which was my mamat's:

  • Banyak story (Whenever he won't stop talking and telling me stories about EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN AND THE MOON AND STARS, I'll stop him and ask "Eh, you belum habis you punya quota hari ni eh??? Hahahahaha)
  • Emotional
  • Demonstrative
  • "Colourful"
  • Peramah / Senang buat kawan (Dude can buat kawan with a tree. A TREE ok.)
  • Emotions written on his face
  • Berani ke depan
  • Suka dengan orang
  • Suka dipuji
  • Tidak menyimpan rasa
  • Cannot tahan silence
  • Life of the party
  • Wide-eyed / Lika a child (Omg, his description on our wedding website actually has a similar phrase lor hahahahaha)
  • Kelakar (Very kelakar fella, if I may say so myself)
  • Cheerful
  • Curious / Always asking questions
  • Loncat loncat (Hahahahaha betul!!! Tak tau duduk diam one ini anak!!!)

OMG, SEMUA DAMN SPOT ON OK!!! What kind of freaking sorcery IZ THIZ?! 

Oh, I also had to stifle my laughter so hard because I could see my mamat beaming from across his table macam lampu spotlight nak panggil Batman when he saw himself being described in such exact terms. Almost rolled over from tummy cramps even, when he gestured and mouthed that he was a "10" (The "intensity" is marked by your number so he is a Anggur level 10 whereas I'm a Limau level 7 haha!)

And then we had to describe our own strengths and weaknesses as well as our partners' strengths and weaknesses then exchange books and jot down our comments to our partners' remarks. It was a really interesting exercise, I thought, although there was one part that made me go "EH cari gaduh pe dekni"

Blue remarks made by my mat, black remarks made by me in response to his:



Hahahahahahaha kurang ajar sia! 

Gila gila pun kau nak ajak kahwing jugak ok! So kau gila ke aku gila???

The rest of the other modules were really, really good as well, although I did start to doze off at the part about children hahahahaha eh that one tak sengaja ok, it was after the last break, it was less than one hour left to end of class on the first day and I lacked sleep... although I have to admit I might have lost interest during that part because I'm not... as interested as my mat when it comes to having children. Hahaha.

Definitely didn't doze off during the other modules though, which included the rights and responsibilities of a wife, communication between husband and wife, and stuff like our love language (What makes you and your spouse tick? Does he value words of love and encouragement or quality time better? Do you value him helping you with your chores or showering you with gifts?) - and of course, the module about sex was the most entertaining one of all, unsurprisingly. Guys and their lepak remarks! 

But in all seriousness, I was really glad Ustadz Khair (our facilitator for that module) gave us definitive answers to the questions that we've been wondering - like, whether oral sex is allowed in Islam and whether it is true that you must do the deed under a blanket. (We asked our close couple friends before but their facilitators gave them vague answers that didn't really address the question at all lor -___-)

(By the way, my mat likes Ustadz Khair sooo much, he's now considering him as our tok kadi. He remembered Ustadz Khair from a khutbah he once attended at Al-Falah mosque and was impressed by the tone of his voice and his delivery of the khutbah. Apparently dia tak pernah pernah nangis bila dengar khutbah, jiwa boleh tersentuh bila dia dengar Ustadz Khair beri khutbah sampai dia titis airmata segala! Typical crybaby. I told him if we do get Ustadz Khair as our tok kadi, he better not start melalak right after Ustadz Khair says the akad or else I will be very upset and turn into a Freaking Giant Orange.)

Oh! We also met another couple who has the same wedding date as us!!! The girl happened to sit beside me whereas the guy happened to sit one seat away from my mat during the course and when we started talking together, we found out that our wedding dates are the same! So exciting! Which means we now know four other couples getting married on the same date as us - Liza and Hamzah from the course, Nurain of Minute Blogette, someone I used to... uhm, date, and Adibah, my friend from secondary school (we just found out today when she posted a screenshot of her wedding countdown on Instagram haha)

Speaking of which, I also met Asyura of Building Our Love Nest at the course! Always very nice to put faces to blogs :D (Babe I was looking for you after the course to ask how you found the course and to say my goodbyes but I couldn't find you! So cepat you melesap haha)

And with that...


Muka kita rainbow colour sebab happy dah boleh kahwing YAY YAY!

Now that we've gone through it, we're quite glad we decided to do it before Ramadhan because it does feel good knowing that we've fulfilled one of the kahwing requirements and no longer need to worry about it, but not so soon sampai we don't feel the bahang nak kahwing. We're definitely starting to feel the bahang ok (nothing to do with the bahang of May/June period eh), and have started contacted our vendors for appointments!

Already fixed our first ever vendor appointment with CST Singapore, but not very sure what to expect because when we only spoke to their Malaysian team when we booked their videography services at the MegaXpress Mega Wedding Exhibition in 2012 (CST baru masuk Singapore market in January 2012 and I would assume their Singapore team was not firmed up yet at that time)

Now waiting for Bliss Photocinema to reply my email before I can text Kasai Sayang! Hoping to schedule our appointments with both vendors on the same day jadi boleh utilize our leave kao kao - really appreciate the fact that the both of us work regular office hours (no clashing shifts whatsoever) and have straightforward leave application processes at both our workplaces because it really helps, yo!

We usually move very fast for our preparations but appointment-wise, we've discussed and decided that we're now quite happy to lambat lambatkan our appointment dates, and push them as near to our wedding as possible. We are mindful of possible changes to our itinerary and all other details and it would really suck - for us and our vendors - because we'll have to keep going back to our different vendors to update them on the latest new and improved versions of our itinerary and plans. Recipe for miscommunication and confusion! Yikes. (As it is, I was a bit apprehensive when we had to tell Ola Lola that we're reducing our gift trays from 6 to 5 but they were really sweet about it! The change is purely for aesthetic purposes, which serves me well anyway because truth be told, I don't like even numbers HAHA)

Next up! A trip to JB this coming weekend to cari wedding invitation cards for my mat punya side. Just my future parents-in-law, my little Anggur and Limau me! Hopefully my nervousness will not turn me into a packet of limau kasturi juice instead eh.

36 comments:

  1. babe! sorry eh jalan tak ingat dunia! hehe. btw, i had a great time during the course and thank god for the friendly girls at our table. nice seeing you! =)

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    1. hahaha it's ok! and yes, thanks for the laughter and sharing and everything, it was really nice seeing you too :D

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  2. oh myyyy.. i would melenting also babe.. but since u guys booked waaaaay before he got his mobilization exercise... screw MINDEF. hahahaha. i'm going for mine end of this week.

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    1. ya! he just tawakkal ah, ape nak jadi, jadilah. he knows that it's not his fault things happened that way and that is good enough. we're still not sure what's going to happen though, still no news from his army superiors!

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  3. YEYYYYYY so glad you enjoyed it! and you're right, positive vibes help. fdr and me went with an open mind even though we were deprived of a weekend of dating but alhamdulillah the course is beneficial!

    OH, and my kadi IS ustadz Khair! alhamdulillah, he is very calm, ON TIME (part ni very important!!!) and straight to the point, takde khutbah panjang lebar boleh buat pengantin tertidur. he even cracked a joke when he asked me to sign the cert (which i kena cheated okay, because if you look at the marriage cert, tak ada pun kitorang punya signature!!).

    and it helps that he is so... sejuk mata memandang. all the girls at my table during kursus menggelitis when he was in the room. during my own solemnization, my MUA's assistant also was happy to see him hahahahahahaa. aku jgn ckp ah, nasib tak payah lafaz nikah, if not i will ter-tukar nama fdr hahahhahahahaahah.

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    1. yes!!! i remember your blog entry about it and how you really enjoyed and learned from it... i knew i had to have that same attitude and mindset too! :D

      and omg! now i need to tengok balik your wedding video! very good that he was on time for your solemnization because he was late for the class!!! saliheen and i considered the fact that he was late when we discussed ah, but we figured it must be a one-time thing and we cannot penalize him just because he was late setengah jam for ONE class lah haha.

      lolololololol at your last line, alamak why so miang ni y'all?!?!?! you know, he was sooooo comel when he was trying to not look or sound awkward during the module on sex HAHA. but now that you've mentioned... rasa macam nak ambik tok kadi yang muda muda sikit pulak eh hahaha

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    2. lololol i think he was late because he is also the General Manager of Masjid Sultan so must be super busy HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

      and omggg, i cldn't stop looking at his whatsapp display pic on fdr's phone actually HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. the muda-muda one all tak handsome lah! but there's a handsome middle aged one in your area, Ismail Terimoh, who is also tak banyak cakap and tak banyak songeh. Ustadz Khair stays at Woodlandsss. (OMG WHY AM I STALKING KADIS/USTADZ NI!!)

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    3. EWAH EWAH pandai eh awak cook up kan excuse untuk dia! dia dari rumah lah, the administrator told us he was stuck in a traffic jam kat woodlands hari tu :P

      and eh thanks for the suggestion! you saw Ismail Terimoh in action before eh? or you know of any wedding videos yang ada dia in action?

      we don't know much about all these tok kadis/ustadz and need all the recommendations we can get... so bagus ah kalau you continue stalking them, can go to you for advice!!! hahahahaha

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  4. we also attended the marriage prep course by Suchi. memang beneficial. true what you said, all the modules were good. tak boring langsung :)

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    1. it is, isn't it! saliheen and i realized we applied what we learnt during the course when we trying to make some decisions last night :)

      so happy the course has benefited so many other couples!

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  5. looks so fun! now i like excited nak pergi kursus pulak nanti october ;)

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    1. it is :D you going course under suchi success jugak? if yes, insya Allah you'll enjoy it as much as i and other couples before me did!

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  6. I guess how good the course is depends on who's the lecturer? And what a coincidence you get to meet some friends there and kecoh pe kena call back for mobilisation haha.. I don't know how mine will end up like, can only find out next month!

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    1. yup, depends on who the facilitator is and how good he/she is... i've heard good reviews about other facilitators from other friends who went for the course under suchi success at their training centre and other mosques though, so quality should be about the same?

      ah tau takpe eh, kursus pun boleh ada kekecohan haha no worries babe, i'm sure you and your partner will enjoy the course if you go in open hearts and minds :)))

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  7. true true u must go to the course with an open mind despite whatever opinion u have or what you have learnt previously. We may or may not agree with what is discussed during the course but i had fun during my MPC too!

    My kadi was Ustaz Md Zahid and i like him so much! haha
    He was a replacement kadi. I initially chose Kadi Mokson.
    this fatherly figure who looks a bit chinese tapi yang datang Ustaz Zahid and tak menyesal.

    He came on time, (in his white modified car. my husband was staring at his tyre rims macam nak kahwin ngan itu rims) and then the whole process was very fast and he was funny!

    He's not those good looking type but he's so cute cos he's chubby. like my husband. Time akad nikah macam adik tgk nikahkan abang! lol

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    1. ya betul!!! i kept hearing good reviews but didn't want to have such high expectations just in case it falls below and i wouldn't enjoy it... but i ended up really appreciating the course. nak setuju tak setuju tu lain cerita, overall the course was really beneficial if you take it positively, i thought.

      lolololol at your tok kadi story! siap datang with modified car and tyre rims segala! ok now i want to tengok balek your nikah photos and go see this Ustaz Md Zahid lol

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  8. Woah I always super excited kalau org dah gi kursus! Cause this is one area, that Im very much lookin forward to. I dont know eh, I always look at it mcm couple theraphy counselling session gitu and last month bila Me & Khai had like a hugeeee fight, I wanted us to go for kursus rumah tangga (padahal kawin lagi lama!)!!!!


    What do you think eh?

    I actually nak gi kursus cepat2 cause I think we have alot of issues(GAAAAAH!!) and Im hopin for some "professional" feedback. and I heard that the kursus applies for 2 years? True tak?

    xx Ana

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    1. up to you, babe! personally i champion going nearer to your wedding date but if you feel that the course will help you and your relationship in some way, you can go soon i suppose... the Certificate is valid for 3 years after the second day of course (you can read more here: http://www.kasihsejati.com/ks/web/page.asp?topic=208&pn=1&aid=ART00020-2008)

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    2. ohh I see I see. thats great then, thank you babe!

      We are probably thinkin about going afta Raya anyways, so hopefully! (:

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  9. hehehehe..biler the facilitator tgh ckp, i already smsed him to cpt2 buat the feedback form...we are the first couple to get the certs..dpt tros kluar and turon...last to come but first to leave..hahaha

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    1. no wonderlahhhhh i thought you'd still be around sekali cari cari aittttttt mana dia hilang! so express you haha!

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  10. Have u booked the kadi yet? hehe.
    Most of the kadis were my ustaz dulu. U.Ismail is really funny, cracks lots of lame jokes, easy going and definitely not the lecturing type. Kalau U.mokhson, he's more of the quiet, serious type, tu pon kalau tk kenal, in class he's funny! he's also my vp :) My fiance's brother is a kadi, so senang lah. Kalau tak mmg i'd probably choose u.mokhson :)

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    1. notchet! can only book on 1st week of June so definitely can't wait for that :D

      thanks for the input, babe, at least now we have a list we can look at and consider if tak dapat our first choice tok kadi... and wah! so senang lah y'all, if your fiance's brother is a tok kadi. don't need to worry about him being late for the solemnization too, i guess. hehe

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  11. hey babe!

    i love reading your entries! they are so honest and genuine and you're such a funny person!

    i hope you will keep blogging even after you get married!

    (:

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    1. hello babe!

      thank you, that's very nice of you!!! will see how it goes after the wedding madness is overrrrr but will definitely keep up with all you btbs :D

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    1. hello babe!!! glad to hear this blog has helped you in your preparations somehow.

      and omg can't believe we were in the same kursus! where we you sitting? i was sitting at the back so you might have missed me.

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  13. hello, i am looking forward to this course. but when you attended, was your course in malay or english?

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    1. hello! you'll enjoy the course, insya Allah. anyway, my course was in Malay :)

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  14. hi babe! I love your blog! i am wondering if you know if it's possible to register marriage online before attending the marriage prep course. We havent gone through the course yet but we have signed up and paid.

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    1. hey babe! thanks for reading my blog!

      anyway, sorry to inform you that i don't know the answer to your query.

      i can't remember whether there's an option to indicate that you've attended the marriage prep course when you register marriage online.

      *but* one thing for sure is that after you register online, you'll have to bring along the marriage prep course certificate when you go down to ROMM to have the interview with tok kadi.

      so i guess as long as you have the marriage prep course certificate on hand by the time you go down for the tok kadi interview, it should be fine?

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    2. oh, you can try calling ROMM to ask or putting your information into the online registration portal to see whether they need confirmation as to whether you've gone for the marriage preparation course? worth a shot!

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  15. Salam Farhana,
    Im freaking new to b;logging :)
    been reading ur blogs and I loved it! u so the kekek!
    and I was actually thinking of the marriage course and I heard frm my friends about Kasih Sejati, Suchi Success and the review is good..
    and after reading ur blog abt it, CONFIRM plus CHOP lah I nak take this marriage course :)
    Thank you so much...

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    1. hello dear!

      thank you so much for reading my blog and very happy to know you enjoy it hehe

      and yeah, i really recommend the suchi success marriage prep course because i had so much fun and learnt so much stuff from it! don't worry ah, you mesti enjoy and learn from it jugak punya :D

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  16. Hi, just a quick enquiry! Course ni compulsory tak kene pakai tudong?

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    1. when i called the administration, they said must pakai tudong!

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